In the past week I have seen three news stories about children being forgotten or left in hot cars. Unfortunately, one child died as a result. Coincidentally all were left alone in cars by men. My intention is not to imply that this is a male-only phenomenon but rather to question why it seems to happen more with men.
Is it because they are gendered in masculine traits and they are not as tuned in to caregiving as a priority (as women are)? Is it because, in at least two of the cases, they are of an older generation and not used to being primarily responsibile for children yet circumstances of society today has forced them to assume a completely foreign role? Or are these simply three simultaneous cases of forgetful, thoughtless people?
I don't know but I've learned things about gendering and societal expectation in this course that lead me to believe there may be reasons beyond just being negligent. Although younger men are raised in a society quite different from their fathers, who depended more on women to be primary caretakers, they are still gendered masculine. Two of the men involved were grandfathers. Were they just not capable of keeping children uppermost in their thoughts? Before taking this course I would have just assumed these were simply negligent individuals. Now I'm not so sure.
I'd be interested to hear what others think.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Reply to Anjum -- Week 6
Anjum:
I love your progressive thinking!! I'm just sorry it is progressive -- and not more widespread in our society.I agree -- there is no reason that men cannot think about future family as much as women -- except they are not gendered to and society does not expect them to.Your quote at the end is perfect! As we have learned in this course societal values can change and a change to men thinking about their careers in terms of future family would benefit both women and men.
Dori
I love your progressive thinking!! I'm just sorry it is progressive -- and not more widespread in our society.I agree -- there is no reason that men cannot think about future family as much as women -- except they are not gendered to and society does not expect them to.Your quote at the end is perfect! As we have learned in this course societal values can change and a change to men thinking about their careers in terms of future family would benefit both women and men.
Dori
Week 6
A good friend of mine is a big fan of the movie "Fight Club" and we have seen it several times. So it was interesting to see it mentioned in our reading of men's movements and it made me think about the movie in a different way.
On page 105 Wood describes "Fight Club" as being about men who feel their lives are without meaning. On page 108, in the discussion of the Mythopoetic movement and their view of modern man's emotional emptiness being due to father hunger, "Fight Club" is also mentioned. Ed Norton's character laments about not knowing his father and tries to compensate by building a close relationship with Brad Pitt's character.
I always saw the movie as just a bunch of men doing a very immature man thing -- fighting. I now see it very differently. Society's definition of male and masculine do not permit outward expressions of closeness (it's a feminine trait), yet as human beings they still need that closeness. The first person who could fulfill this is their father and when that is not available they turn to other men. Yet they can't do it in a way that is not masculine -- so the men in "Fight Club" fight.
The "Fight Club" group of men are close with a shared experience that is theirs alone yet cannot be conceived as feminine in any way. Society will accept that they fight before they'll accept that the get together to simply bond! I think after taking this course "Fight Club" will not be the only thing I will see differently.
Dori
On page 105 Wood describes "Fight Club" as being about men who feel their lives are without meaning. On page 108, in the discussion of the Mythopoetic movement and their view of modern man's emotional emptiness being due to father hunger, "Fight Club" is also mentioned. Ed Norton's character laments about not knowing his father and tries to compensate by building a close relationship with Brad Pitt's character.
I always saw the movie as just a bunch of men doing a very immature man thing -- fighting. I now see it very differently. Society's definition of male and masculine do not permit outward expressions of closeness (it's a feminine trait), yet as human beings they still need that closeness. The first person who could fulfill this is their father and when that is not available they turn to other men. Yet they can't do it in a way that is not masculine -- so the men in "Fight Club" fight.
The "Fight Club" group of men are close with a shared experience that is theirs alone yet cannot be conceived as feminine in any way. Society will accept that they fight before they'll accept that the get together to simply bond! I think after taking this course "Fight Club" will not be the only thing I will see differently.
Dori
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Reply to Anjum's Week #5 Post
Anjum:
Interesting post and perspective!!Obviously the culture these women live in expect, and I'm sure many of them expect, that they live this role. With the invasion of Western culture, though, I wonder if there are changing attitudes, at least on the part of the women.On the surface I would say as a woman I'd love to live that lifestyle! But because I've been raised in a different culture, I think eventually I'd become bored. And I would think that might happen in these countries as women are exposed to more of what the world had to offer.
Dori
Interesting post and perspective!!Obviously the culture these women live in expect, and I'm sure many of them expect, that they live this role. With the invasion of Western culture, though, I wonder if there are changing attitudes, at least on the part of the women.On the surface I would say as a woman I'd love to live that lifestyle! But because I've been raised in a different culture, I think eventually I'd become bored. And I would think that might happen in these countries as women are exposed to more of what the world had to offer.
Dori
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Week of June 9 Blog
I do believe men's "movements"-- by that I mean groups where men feel comfortable to express themselves and support each other -- are important. I have seen how they can turn around a man's life and provide a support system that mirrors that of women.
My brother married, had a child and divorced young. Before his second marriage he drank heavily and was very unhappy and even though his second marriage is a good one he seemed to never be drifting. Then his wife introduced him to a non-denominational church she was attending which had a thriving men's group. It seemed my brother had found something that made him happy -- a group of men sharing fellowship, doing things together (and with their children) and worshipping God. He even became a leader in this group.
Last year my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent emergency surgery. Throughout his chemo and radiation treatments his men's group provided support, rides to his appointments and gave him men to talk to where he could express what he was going through. I truly believe this support facilitated his quick, and complete, recovery.
This sense of belonging is important to all humans -- and if men can get this through men's movement groups, it is a very positive thing for the individuals and society as a whole.
My brother married, had a child and divorced young. Before his second marriage he drank heavily and was very unhappy and even though his second marriage is a good one he seemed to never be drifting. Then his wife introduced him to a non-denominational church she was attending which had a thriving men's group. It seemed my brother had found something that made him happy -- a group of men sharing fellowship, doing things together (and with their children) and worshipping God. He even became a leader in this group.
Last year my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent emergency surgery. Throughout his chemo and radiation treatments his men's group provided support, rides to his appointments and gave him men to talk to where he could express what he was going through. I truly believe this support facilitated his quick, and complete, recovery.
This sense of belonging is important to all humans -- and if men can get this through men's movement groups, it is a very positive thing for the individuals and society as a whole.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Response to Tricia's Post
Tricia:
You make some excellent and telling observations about men and women at work. I wonder how many women actually take less active roles at work so their husbands can advance.It seems in most cases that if two-income families have children, the mother takes the lead in giving up her career opportunities, taking care of the children such as staying home when they're sick and putting their jobs in jeopardy if their employers are unsympathetic.This is because women in our society are expected to be the caretakers. Women seem to have to make a choice between career and children -- a choice men do not have to make!
Dori
You make some excellent and telling observations about men and women at work. I wonder how many women actually take less active roles at work so their husbands can advance.It seems in most cases that if two-income families have children, the mother takes the lead in giving up her career opportunities, taking care of the children such as staying home when they're sick and putting their jobs in jeopardy if their employers are unsympathetic.This is because women in our society are expected to be the caretakers. Women seem to have to make a choice between career and children -- a choice men do not have to make!
Dori
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