I was extremely interested to read about the second shift in our chapters this week. It put a name on something I experienced while my daughters were growing up.
Our book described frustration leading to resentment experienced by women who work outside the home then come home to their "second shift". Keeping the house, taking care of the children, scheduling appointments and making sure everyone get where they need to be -- just a few of the things under the second shift job description.
No matter how much our cultural attitudes change and men take more responsibilitiy in the home, I still hear women young and old complain about having to do a disproportionate share of the work at home. Women are caregivers, multi-taskers and socialized to take care of things. We feel if it's not getting done, we have to take care of it.
Reading about the second shift was like an epiphany to me! I could never figure out why I always felt frustrated, overwhelmed and resented my former husband. I just always knew I felt like I was doing it all -- and almost like a single parent!! I heard a statistic recently that the highest percentage of divorces initiated by women is in the over 40 age range. The second shift phenomenon could explain this trend.
At least now I know I wasn't crazy -- and was not alone!
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Hi Dori....good post! Yes, it is nice to put a name with something that you have experienced personally, isn't it? I also felt relief when I realized that what I was experiencing had a name and I felt better knowing I wasn't the only person feeling this way. It is very difficult for women to balance family, work, home and school (like lots of women here). There are a number of men who also experience a "second shift" so it is certainly not limited totally to women. I think what is bothersome is that the second shift is long and tiring and it is done for no pay. I also have to agree with you that women who divorce over 40 are probably doing so because they feel as if they are doing everything alone.
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