Final Week Blog

In the past week I have seen three news stories about children being forgotten or left in hot cars. Unfortunately, one child died as a result. Coincidentally all were left alone in cars by men. My intention is not to imply that this is a male-only phenomenon but rather to question why it seems to happen more with men.
Is it because they are gendered in masculine traits and they are not as tuned in to caregiving as a priority (as women are)? Is it because, in at least two of the cases, they are of an older generation and not used to being primarily responsibile for children yet circumstances of society today has forced them to assume a completely foreign role? Or are these simply three simultaneous cases of forgetful, thoughtless people?
I don't know but I've learned things about gendering and societal expectation in this course that lead me to believe there may be reasons beyond just being negligent. Although younger men are raised in a society quite different from their fathers, who depended more on women to be primary caretakers, they are still gendered masculine. Two of the men involved were grandfathers. Were they just not capable of keeping children uppermost in their thoughts? Before taking this course I would have just assumed these were simply negligent individuals. Now I'm not so sure.
I'd be interested to hear what others think.

Reply to Anjum -- Week 6

Anjum:
I love your progressive thinking!! I'm just sorry it is progressive -- and not more widespread in our society.I agree -- there is no reason that men cannot think about future family as much as women -- except they are not gendered to and society does not expect them to.Your quote at the end is perfect! As we have learned in this course societal values can change and a change to men thinking about their careers in terms of future family would benefit both women and men.
Dori

Week 6

A good friend of mine is a big fan of the movie "Fight Club" and we have seen it several times. So it was interesting to see it mentioned in our reading of men's movements and it made me think about the movie in a different way.

On page 105 Wood describes "Fight Club" as being about men who feel their lives are without meaning. On page 108, in the discussion of the Mythopoetic movement and their view of modern man's emotional emptiness being due to father hunger, "Fight Club" is also mentioned. Ed Norton's character laments about not knowing his father and tries to compensate by building a close relationship with Brad Pitt's character.

I always saw the movie as just a bunch of men doing a very immature man thing -- fighting. I now see it very differently. Society's definition of male and masculine do not permit outward expressions of closeness (it's a feminine trait), yet as human beings they still need that closeness. The first person who could fulfill this is their father and when that is not available they turn to other men. Yet they can't do it in a way that is not masculine -- so the men in "Fight Club" fight.

The "Fight Club" group of men are close with a shared experience that is theirs alone yet cannot be conceived as feminine in any way. Society will accept that they fight before they'll accept that the get together to simply bond! I think after taking this course "Fight Club" will not be the only thing I will see differently.

Dori

Reply to Anjum's Week #5 Post

Anjum:
Interesting post and perspective!!Obviously the culture these women live in expect, and I'm sure many of them expect, that they live this role. With the invasion of Western culture, though, I wonder if there are changing attitudes, at least on the part of the women.On the surface I would say as a woman I'd love to live that lifestyle! But because I've been raised in a different culture, I think eventually I'd become bored. And I would think that might happen in these countries as women are exposed to more of what the world had to offer.
Dori

Week of June 9 Blog

I do believe men's "movements"-- by that I mean groups where men feel comfortable to express themselves and support each other -- are important. I have seen how they can turn around a man's life and provide a support system that mirrors that of women.

My brother married, had a child and divorced young. Before his second marriage he drank heavily and was very unhappy and even though his second marriage is a good one he seemed to never be drifting. Then his wife introduced him to a non-denominational church she was attending which had a thriving men's group. It seemed my brother had found something that made him happy -- a group of men sharing fellowship, doing things together (and with their children) and worshipping God. He even became a leader in this group.

Last year my brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent emergency surgery. Throughout his chemo and radiation treatments his men's group provided support, rides to his appointments and gave him men to talk to where he could express what he was going through. I truly believe this support facilitated his quick, and complete, recovery.

This sense of belonging is important to all humans -- and if men can get this through men's movement groups, it is a very positive thing for the individuals and society as a whole.

Anjum:
Great insight! I especially like your comments about men not liking to ask for directions!!
And your comment about women interacting face to face and men working side by side seems symbolic of men's inability of express their feelings as well as women.
Dori

Response to Tricia's Post

Tricia:
You make some excellent and telling observations about men and women at work. I wonder how many women actually take less active roles at work so their husbands can advance.It seems in most cases that if two-income families have children, the mother takes the lead in giving up her career opportunities, taking care of the children such as staying home when they're sick and putting their jobs in jeopardy if their employers are unsympathetic.This is because women in our society are expected to be the caretakers. Women seem to have to make a choice between career and children -- a choice men do not have to make!
Dori

"Second Shift" Phenomenon

I was extremely interested to read about the second shift in our chapters this week. It put a name on something I experienced while my daughters were growing up.

Our book described frustration leading to resentment experienced by women who work outside the home then come home to their "second shift". Keeping the house, taking care of the children, scheduling appointments and making sure everyone get where they need to be -- just a few of the things under the second shift job description.

No matter how much our cultural attitudes change and men take more responsibilitiy in the home, I still hear women young and old complain about having to do a disproportionate share of the work at home. Women are caregivers, multi-taskers and socialized to take care of things. We feel if it's not getting done, we have to take care of it.

Reading about the second shift was like an epiphany to me! I could never figure out why I always felt frustrated, overwhelmed and resented my former husband. I just always knew I felt like I was doing it all -- and almost like a single parent!! I heard a statistic recently that the highest percentage of divorces initiated by women is in the over 40 age range. The second shift phenomenon could explain this trend.

At least now I know I wasn't crazy -- and was not alone!

Daphne:
I'm not sure when you were in high school but it's disconcerting that, if this was just in the last few years, your counselor wouldn't have a better understanding of the gender-stereotyped curricula. Our text also refers to the fact that the higher-level the educational institution the more male the faculty it. This would account for a lot of the gender-stereotyping in advising but you had a woman!I know my oldest daughter, Kelli, is a senior Meteorology major which has been traditionally a male field for two reasons. One is the overwhelming amount of math and science courses and the second is that a lot of females who begin in that major drop out. her experience has been that she has had to fight harder for help when she's struggling and is not given the same encouragement as the male students. Although she's been tempted to change majors on more than one occasion, sometimes because of treatment by professors, she's stuck with it. By the way, she has only one female professor for any of her major-related math and science courses!!
Dori
May 30, 2008 12:14 PM

Replied to Jenai's Post in Week #

Prof M:
I replied to Jenai's post on her blog but could not copy and paste on my blog because I received a message saying it would not show until she had approved it! Since I'm not sure when that will be I don't know if it will show up for me to add to my post, or for you to view, before our deadline. I will post to another blog just in case.
Dori

Sexist Language in Campaign '08?

For the first time in our history we have both an African American and a women as possible Presidential candidates. And while racist language may not be an issue in the 2008 Democratic Presidential Campaign, it appears sexist language is.

A recent news piece on the Fox network spoke of Barack Obama using sexist language when speaking about Hillary Clinton. While I could not find anything on this piece, I did find a blog at abcnews.com which made reference to newsroom conversations between female reporters about instances of sexist language used by Obama. And bloggers also cite instances of sexist language by John McCain.

Examples of this language by Obama include:
"You challenge the status quo and suddenly the claws come out"
"I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she's feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal."

The author writes: " 'Claws'...'feeling down'...I find it hard to envision Obama using the same language if he were facing, say, former Sen. John Edwards, D-NC."

To read the entire blog go to
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/02/is-obama-using.html.

Reply to Zulma's Post

Zulma:I am taking another course concurrent with this one about sitcoms in American culture. Our first paper is on the differences in how women have been portrayed on TV from the 1950's to present and Mary Tyler Moore's show is one of the videos in our progression. You are absolutely right that she was a strong female role model and we are progressing toward more equality in roles.Personally, I was married for 25 years to a very traditional male where I was responsible for just about everything -- his contribution was to go to work. Because strong female role models became increasingly visible throughout the years of my marriage I was able to identify why I'd felt so frustrated. I was clearly the stereotypical female role to my ex-husband's stereotypical male role.I am since divorced and in a relationship where there is no male and female role -- there are shared roles. It is a much more satisfying relationship and hopefully my experience will be a model for my daughters. I am already seeing that they are much more assertive about what they want in their relationships with males.Dori

Week #2 Post

There was a news article on a local Philadelphia station about a 6 year old boy who attends an elementary school is Philadelphia and has begun wearing dresses to school. He feels very strongly, and has for a while, that he is a girl. His parents are supporting his transgendered feelings. The school says it is a personal matter and one that will not become involved in. The parents of his classmates are mixed in whether they would allow their children to do what the 6 year old is but most agreed they saw no problem with them being able to explain to their children why a male classmate is now wearing female clothing.

Are this 6-year old's parents "jumping the gun" or simply saving their son years of misery until he finally is able to express his feminity? Will his male body going through puberty bring about other changes in his feelings? These are all questions that will be answered as this boy gets older. However, our book say gender constancy, a person's understanding that he or she is male or female, will not change and appears to develop at age 3 or even earlier.

If the studies in our book by Dubois, Serbin and Derbyshire (1998), Warm (2000) and Levy (1998) are correct than it appears this family is on the cutting edge of gender awareness and how to deal with a situation which can cause young people untold heartache.

Test Post #2

I've looked at the instructions again -- here's another attempt.

Testing Links

Followed instructions (I believe from Johanna??). Checking to see if I followed them correctly.
Dori

Response to Week #1 Post

I think it will take a while for different components of society (such as card companies) to catch up with the changes in society. Having seen the variety of cards in stores just in my lifetime, they will eventually. Perhaps nurturer would be a better title for everyone who cares for children but since "mother" is so ingrained in our culture, it seems it will take a long time, if ever, for this to change.
This week I have been helping my oldest daughter move from her college apartment to her first "real" apartment. My role as primary caretaker -- mother -- comes with it an expectation on the part of my daughter and her father that I will be the one who assists her. And, as you say, I would feel guilty if I didn't! Even the women I work with understood that assisting my daughter would be my "job" and that they themselves had similar stories.

Hope I've done this correctly!